The (extra) long road to Med school. . .

Okay so Med school. The stereotypically depicted host of torture, stress ulcers yet somewhat gratifying results.

I've always felt an instinctive pull towards the health sciences. Becoming a doctor however was out of the question. I was far too fixated on my dreams of war correspondence, intense journalism and saving the world. My initial dreams however, were fizzled away by my people. Parents thought I was unrealistic. Friends thought I was mad. Teachers thought I had a shot but would still probably opt for a more sheltered alternative. Alas, they were right. My tertiary education began with not even a whimper of protest from me as I began to see the possibilities my Bachelor of Commerce in Economics with Law had to offer. Little did I know I would soon be faced with a trauma of an unparalleled kind.

Imagine waking up to a successful set of first year results and feeling no true sense of achievement. All I felt was the suffocating prospect of a legal office job in a corporate environment I had no passion to be a part of. Next came the guilt. The money forked out toward my first university year was no joke. Was I actually considering letting that go to waste? And besides what else could I do? Surely my strengths lie in my current career path? ..

And then it hit me. I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR.

And then it hit me again. The ghost of Ro Ro's past. "Razeena you blithering idiot, have you forgotten your smart ass decision to drop physics in grade eleven?"

I distinctly remember saying I would never need physics because I would never want to be a doctor. (Take note high school kids, your own words will come back and bite you in the face so be wary with subject choices I BEG). Well there you have it. My moment of self-realization turned to ash as a result of what seemed to be a wise teenage decision back in my heyday.

Okay not ash as such. Medicine suddenly became all I could think of. I spent a great deal of my vac time trying to come up with an ultimate solution. Matric physics would have to be completed of that I was certain. And then what? Take a gap year? Carry on with my pricey degree only to abandon it past half way should I, in the best case scenario, be accepted? Oh it was agony. Still is actually. I'm about two weeks away from registration and basically drowning in uncertainties.

I have one possible route. What it entails however is largely strenuous. The University of Witswaterstrand could be my saving grace. Their graduate entrance MBchB path has become my only alternative. The already long path to doctor status has been further lengthened for my purposes. My wedge exists in my Bcom undergraduate that needs to be completed before the next step. For now I need great wishes and prayers and support in paving the way toward my colossal dream.

Prematurely promising lollipops for all :)

I dare you to live.

Living life in the fast line. That ladies and gentlemen is the reality of our lives today.

Moving at speeds too great with little opportunity for a pit stop. It seems as though we keep going forward with no intention of reflecting on what we have left behind. As we keep on, battling our daily demons, it's the little things we lose in the process.

Appreciating the familiar cereal crunching monstrosity of a sound on busy Monday mornings. Seeing the tragic humor in that little twerk move we find ourselves doing every time we conquer those ultra skinny jeans. Laughing from the depths of the soul when that one word word reminds us of that one time when that one thing happened. Even just throwing ourselves on the sofa after a horrendous week and stuffing our faces with flings. These things. It is these seemingly irrelevant, basically infinitesimal bits and bobs and doings that actually color our lives. These things define our very existence.

Sure, it's becoming increasingly difficult to find the time to let a thought other than work and school and relationships and the usual blabber, cross our minds. But be wary. Often that which is worth acknowledging is hidden beneath what we believe to be of greater importance. Don't lose yourself in the pursuit of success. Don't lose yourself to the mediocrity of life either. Fight the system of mundanity and routine. Notice the first flower bud bloom. Inhale the petrichor. Smile at the creep on the corner. Look in the mirror and love the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh. Just live :)

Untitled

Unfinished.
Incomplete.
Fragmented.

Such is my life thus far. Unfinished because I'm still alive, grudgingly facing each day. Incomplete, as the path to self realization becomes increasingly complex. Fragmented. In my thoughts. In my actions. My very existence itself is by no means whole. And untitled. For I am yet to bear any name or title that outwardly displays who I am and what I stand for.

I should be studying. But the words are unfamiliar and my head and heart are both burdened with disinterest. My mind is wandering, the labyrinth that it is, I find myself thinking beyond my capabilities. I find myself dreaming beyond my means. Elaborate goals and spectacular endings. I wish for them all. How then, am I not able to motivate myself. How am I unable to inspire a situation of studious activity.
How?

Since the start of this year I've been questioning it all. Regretting decisions. Regretting my cowardice. Contemplating options, for it is, by no means too late to rectify what has resulted. I'm still nowhere near content though. I am still swamped with confusion and unease. It's a daunting thought. The future that is. Knowing the uncertainty it brings with it is frightening. Choices made now may reap benefits or result in adverse circumstances. We just don't know.

It's tragic too, that such heavy weighted decisions need to be made now, when so many of the youth are still battling demons of all kinds in an attempt to find themselves. Social tensions complicate matters further. Apart from deciding what one wishes to do with their life, a youngster is often preoccupied with their appearance, with acquiring social face, and even with pursuing a life partner. It's an ongoing struggle. It doesn't end.

I am almost appalled at my own self when I say, follow your heart. Yes. I'm that cliche. But it must be said. In this overwhelming world of judgement and unfulfillment, it is so essential that we hold on to the things that drive is, that inspire and push us. The things that we are wholly passionate about. The little things. The big things. The things. Grab them and go. Find yourself and your place in this universe in that very way.

In the somewhat modified words of Charles Bukowski- Find what you love and let it consume you :)

Mi montaña

Mi montaña- My mountain.

Why yes I'm audacious enough to use the possessive on the brink of obsessive word MY to describe errrrrrbadys favorite feature of the Cape, Table mountain : )

I could make this post about the aesthetic importance of the mountain, it's contributions to SA's biodiversity or how it was recently nominated as one of thee wonders of the world. I won't though. What I will do is talk through my evolving encounter with the beautiful rockery on a daily basis.

Galloping down my staircase with sleep or tea or both on my mind. My first glimpse of the mountain is one of familiarity but by no means any less breath taking than any other. With either peeking sunlight or a blanketed cloud cover my morning mountain ensures I have something worthy to smile about upon waking.

Public transport comes with several perks. A lower carbon footprint, evading morning traffic, stumbling upon weird and wonderful people and the way I'm forced into my only physical activity for the day as I run for my bus :') The greatest highlight however is the many faces of the mountain I am exposed to en route my picturesque campus.

As I travel alongside the ocean, as I trudge through the CBD, as I crawl up the winded road to UCT, my mountain remains the only constant. It exists as my security, assuring me that I am on track with whatever I'm doing and wherever I am going. From the flattest view to the more jagged one, Table Mountain demands appreciation of its striking self from all angles.

Best for last however, the backdrop of UCT is the most beauteous of all :) .

Bubbly Blogging

It's a sickness. This unfathomable satisfaction I get from chocolate consumption. Surely I'm not the only one risking severe grounding at past midnight trying to hunt down the hidden stash of bubbly chocolate. Mom says she's taking such measures for my own good. Indian mothers. Bless them and their concern for their daughters future marital bliss. Her fears of my forever spinster status are justifiable however. My lil late night snack plot proves this. Maybe summer will bring a greater desire to eat fresh fruits in the sun rather than lovely bubbly chocolatey chocolateness. Maybe not. Time shall tell. For now however....

Voices of the voiceless.

This is for Palestine, Ramallah, West Bank, Gaza,This is for the child that is searching for an answer,I wish I could take your tears and replace them with laughter,Long live Palestine, Long live Gaza!!

Middle eastern conflict. The war over 'stolen land'. Hamas. IDF. Occupation. Terms we have become all too familiar with. But what is the situation really a result of? There are many ways of weighing the situation in Palestine. Be it objectively, politically or religiously, the fact remains that there can only be one TRUE account for the events that have lead to the current ordeal.

The roots of the tensions we are being exposed to presently, date back a very long time ago. In fact, understanding the significance of the Holy land is the basis of understanding the conflict. Masjidul Aqsa or refered to in Judaism as Temple Mount, is situated in Old Jerusalem and holds great importance in both religions. Often the holy shrine is deemed as a key contributor to the unrest.

The Balfour Declaration, made in late 1917 was made by a European power (Britain) about a non-European territory, in flat disregard of both the presence and concerns of the majority of residents in that territory, that being the Arabs in Palestine. It is clear that Western intervention in middle eastern politics is not a new occurrence. The link provided below gives a detailed account of how Zionist forces began their paced settlement into a predominantly Arab Palestine of that time.
http://www.ifamericansknew.org/history/origin.html

But wait. Holddd up. I kinda totally completely forgot to explain the very word that brings my blood to boil. The regime for which my loathing knows no boundary. Surely you have heard of such a force. Zionism. It's likely that you may have brushed them off as a empowered group of murderous Jews. Which is not entirely incorrect. Depending on how you perceive Judaism and Jews.

"Zionism, by advocating a political and military end to the Jewish exile, denies the very essence of our Diaspora existence. We are in exile by Divine Decree and may emerge from exile solely via Divine Redemption. All human efforts to alter a metaphysical reality are doomed to end in failure and bloodshed. History has clearly borne out this teaching.
Zionism has not only denied our fundamental belief in Heavenly Redemption it has also created a pseudo-Judaism which views the essence of our identity to be a secular nationalism. Accordingly, Zionism and the Israeli state have consistently endeavored, via persuasion and coercion, to replace a Divine and Torah centered understanding of our people hood with an armed materialism."

The above is taken from a site that has truly restored my faith in humanity. True Torah Jews, (jewsagainstzionism.com). The orthodox population who understand the exile. The population willing to take a stand against the religiously unlawfully Israeli state. The population who too, like us, condemn the merciless disregard for Palestinian blood. It's so crucial for us to be able to see that there is a very obvious distinction between Judaism and Zionism. The two do not merge. The Torah is a religious book that even Islam acknowledges numerous times for it's existence as the Word of Allah (in it's original form of course). Who are we then, tho chastise a religion such as Judaism, resorting to profanity and vulgarity whilst dismissing the belief system as a whole.

There is nothing more Anti Semitic than Zionism. Sounds bizarre yes, but the website exposes the way in which Zionists have entrenched Anti-semetic perceptions and created a whole base of anti Jewish attitudes I've come to see myself. Quite disgusting actually, the way so many iconize Hitler and speak senselessly about the holocaust.
Yes the Holocaust though tragic, is often used as a anesthetic. A way in which Zionists have numbed the severity of their actions. Allegiance with the West, clearly seen from Obamas spoken support, has always served as a essential mechanism to the Zionist force. The irony exists in that the West have always sought to present themselves as guardians of the so called free world yet continue support for the oppressor.

Gaza is basically a blockaded West Berlin of our time. Since June 1989, Israel has formally restricted the movement of Palestinians. And naturally any such acknowledgment of their oppressive face is met with instant action. On 15 December 2008, following a statement in which he described the embargo on Gaza a crime against humanity, United Nations Special Rapporteur Richard A. Falk was prevented from entering the Palestinian territories by Israeli authorities and expelled from the region. Insecure much? In fact Radio 786 of Cape Town is being thrown into a legal fix imposed by some Zionist league for supposed 'hate speech'. Seeing their media infiltration at a local level is actually scary.

On a global scale we are all too aware of the bias that exists. Mass murder in Burma, the so called ethnic cleansing never even reached the likes of the apparently objective BBC. The very same media that has ignited the Islaamaphobic attitudes of the world is being seen in it's true light once more. 3 Isrealis killed but 15 Palestinians died? May seem like a small difference but the subliminal messages are plentiful. The implications are blatantly obvious!

Israel is 'defending' itself from a population who are being denied their very right to exist in their own land and boasting the use of 'precision technology' which in itself implies deliberate targeting of civilians. Yet the Palestinians are deemed as terrorists? Obvs though. Muslim and all. What about the 20% of Christian Palestinians? Surely we are past the point of religion vs religion. This is about HUMANITY. It is about the lack of unity in addressing this issue. Do you really think swearing Kim Kardashian or cursing Jews is going to save a life? Creating awareness needs to be done correctly, in a way that mirrors the teachings of the Prophet (pbuh) who never retaliated in the face of hatred. Irrationally expressing yourself is doing more harm than good often people don't realize the damage they are doing on a global scale.

I read a response to the Kim K issue and I was actually enraged by the way the article emphasized the threatening replies to her tweet were all Arabic names. Painting a peaceful, beautiful religion like Islam as a movement of terrorism seems to be on top of the agenda for the enemy. And they are succeeding largely due to the material WE give them. Because we are unable to exist as examples who completely defy the Western view of our faith. Passive. Be passive.

Confusion and ignorance. Traits prevalent among many. Bringing light to the truth is not easy, but we have the means to do it. If you are able to change even one persons mind of the occurrences of the middle east, then bravo. Imposing your opinions will get you nowhere, but rational debate will. Social networking has proved a powerful force. Cynics argue that creating a worldwide top trend on Twitter is ineffectual. Yes it's not active resistance, but is displays unity. It shows the strength of those against injustice. Social Networking has kept us better informed than the news ever will, and using it to our advantage and for the betterment of our cause is essential.

The disproportionate numbers of those killed in Palestine is a statement on it's own.

A apple fell off a tree and Newton discovered the law of gravity. Thousands of martyrs fell yet the world is yet to discover humanity.

Justice will be served by the Almighty, for this is far from a war. It is systematic genocide.
PrayForGaza
Keep the faith .



Suggested twitter follows:
@jihadijew
@MjayRosenburg (He blogs good stuff too)
@occpal
@sarasalem

My green light.

I got dreams. Attaining world peace. Eradicating poverty. Meeting Cesc Fabregas. Adopting an Asian. The dreams are plentiful. They are colossal. If they didn't exist I could have very well given up on life after my first teenage heartbreak. Its that concept of attainment. It drives me. A certain 'Rome wasn't built in a day' comes to mind. I guess perseverance is a crucial part of it. If I want to see myself even change someone's world as opposed to the world itself I'm going to have to work hard. There is no absence of socio-economic issues in South Africa and the constant exposure to that harsh reality has made us immune. Often I feel frustrated at my inability to actual DO. Like physically get up and build someone a shelter. Or sponsor a tertiary education to a 6 A attaining township child. It's so difficult being 17 on a casual retail position wage without a license. Thats probably why I see my first big step as learning to drive. In fact I have a lesson in a few hours :D once I'm mobile I think I may be able to get my objectives in motion too. Ive identified Social networking as a powerful and vital means of enforcing my future schemes. I intend to fully exploit it with marketing and awareness and the works. For now though, starting small and throwing my energy into local institutes is top of the agenda. During my planned Gap year after undergrad completion I hope to teach English to students somewhere in the world. Language barriers are still strong in the rural communities of our world and it's up to us to attend to these barriers and pass on whatever linguistic capability we have. There's so much to do and really so little time in an individuals life. The power of unification is essentially the only means man has if he wishes to truly make a difference- get them together!